Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
