so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
