No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
there is glitter all over my balls
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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