You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
