i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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