WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
