dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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