he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
