and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
