So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
