so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
