Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
