I'm gonna have a badass scar
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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