There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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