bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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