opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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