Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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