After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
