with your own penis?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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