Already got asked if we're dating
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
