let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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