and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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