Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
