So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
