Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
