Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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