She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
