While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
