yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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