you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
