I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
