and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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