So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
