Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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