she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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