She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize