There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
