There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
