When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
