He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
