Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
