her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
