I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
