i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
