He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
