I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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