We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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