ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
