Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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