used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
