I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
