You can't special order awesome
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
