Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
