You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
