I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
