hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it's not cheating when I paid for it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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