Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my liver is dry heaving
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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