I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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