That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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