shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
