I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
